Monday, September 8, 2008

One of those Nights

I am not sure if it is just a fluke, or my illness kicking in? I cannot seem to get to sleep, so I guess I will write a little. I am feeling uneasy, almost as if my world is about to blow up. Not sure what it is, but its a feeling I have had before. A long time ago, when I went through the same thing.
My heart has been racing, and I feel an impeding sense of doom. Why? Perhaps because it is that same time of year? Like the last time. I have a lot of energy as my mind races by with thoughts of utter chaos. I am feeling like I need to sleep, but when I close my eyes, they flash open wide as if I am expecting someone, or something to provide me with ominous news.
With my arms wrapped tightly around my body, I am trying to comfort myself by repeating that I am not alone. God is with me. Just by saying those words, I am relaxing, but the feeling that some big change is going to happen is still there. Lurking in my subconcious. Which makes me even more afraid to close my eyes and try to sleep.
I have to have faith.