Female Merit/Demerit System

Okay, I thought this was funny, even though I don't think its totally true.
Enjoy!

In the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy. Do something she likes, and you get points. Do something she dislikes, and points are subtracted.

You don't get any points for doing something she expects. Sorry, that's the way the system is set up.


Here is a guide to the point system:
SIMPLE DUTIES
* You make the bed. (+1)
* You make the bed but forget the decorative pillow. (0)
* You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets. (-1)
* You go out to buy her what she wants. (+5)
* In the rain. (+8)
* But return with Beer. (-5)
* You check out a suspicious noise at night. (+1)
* You check out a suspicious noise, and it is nothing. (0)
* You check out a suspicious noise and it is something. (+5)
* You pummel it with iron rod. (+10)
* It's her pet. (-20)

SOCIAL ENGAGEMENTS
* You stay by her side the entire party. (0)
* You stay by her side for a while and then leave to chat with a college buddy. (-2)
* Named Tina. (-10)
* Tina is a dancer. (-20)
* Tina has silicone implants. (-80)

HER BIRTHDAY
* You take her out to dinner. (+2)
* You take her out to dinner, and it's not a sports bar. (+3)
* Okay, it is a sports bar. (-2)
* And it's all-you-can-eat night. (-3)
* It's a sports bar, all-you-can-eat night, your face is painted the colors of your
favorite team. (-10)

A NIGHT OUT
* You take her to a movie. (+1)
* You take her to a movie she likes. (+3)
* You take her to a movie you hate. (+6)
* You take her to a movie you like. (-2)
* It's called 'Death Trap' (-3)
* You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans (-15)

YOUR PHYSIQUE
* You develop a noticeable potbelly. (-15)
* You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it. (+10)
* You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to baggy jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts. (-30) * You say, "It doesn't matter; you have one too." (-8000)

THE BIG QUESTION
* She asks, "Do I look fat?" (-5) Yes, you lose points no matter what
* You hesitate in responding. (-10)
* You reply, "Where?" (-35)
* Any other response. (-20)

COMMUNICATION
* She wants to talk about a problem, you listen, displaying what looks like a concerned expression. (0)
* You listen, for over 30 minutes. (+50)
* You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV. (+500)
* She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep. (-4000)

Keeping Busy!

Well, it has been a bit (again) since I have posted. Needless to say we have been busy! Not travelling, just keeping up with things around the house. Today, I even got some house painting done because I had to give up on trying to put up Roo's new basketball backboard. I couldn't figure out the directions, but had managed to take the old backboard off of the portable post that came with the old one (which is broken). I tried not to bug Mr D. because he was busy this weekend with plumbing troubles due to us having to put in a new how water heater (unexpectedly of course!) So...... hopefully, we will get that new backboard ready as next weekend will be Roo's birthday party, which we intend to have a lot of activities including an evening campfire complete with s'more's and old fashioned ghost stories! If anyone, knows of any really good stories (scarey or otherwise) Please post them! I will try them out with the kids and then post the reactions! :)