As I sip my coffee this morning, I figured it was a good time to review this years Lenten sacrifice and what I learned from it. As that is the point of Lent, to give new meaning, or a renewed spiritual sense of purpose to your life. With that in mind, I decided that giving up chocolate or soda was not something that, I did not feel, would meet these qualifications and fulfill my spiritual needs. So I decided to give up using Facebook (found out later the Vatican thought it was a good idea too!)for Lent. I was really hoping for some spiritual enlightenment!....I think this has been the best choice ever!
I decided at the beginning, that I would not say anything about it to anyone, as I was convinced that I just needed to "do it". Well, I have to say it was hard for the first few days, resisting the urge to check out what my family and friends were doing. To help me resist temptation, I decided to remove the app from my I-phone (which was a great idea!) I think I went unnoticed for a few days, but then I started receiving the email updates on my I-phone when someone posted something on my site. I almost went back in there to change the settings, but figured, well that would be cheating.... So, I left it alone. Eventually word got around, as noted on my site by some of my closest relatives ~ Thank you for looking out for me!
I was actually grateful for leaving it alone as there were a few times when I found it very handy to see when someone was really needing to get in touch with me. I started me thinking of all the reasons why Facebook was created in the first place. (positive side only ~ please)
1. To keep in touch with friends and family around the world. (For me, this is so true!) I have been able to "meet" relatives that I have only heard mention of their names. Some I have fostered relationships with, (and someday hope to visit) and some have become part of my "family communications tree". You know, the ones that are really busy so you just leave them updates to respect their busy lives, and know somewhere down the line they will return the favor.
2. To find old friends - This has been true as well. Its amazing where your life can go, and when finding old friends from school, or childhood chums and what is going on in their lives now, it makes you feel (pardon the pun) connected!
3. Networking - This is also true, as co-workers can get to know you better outside of work and can create more commraderie during work hours.
I don't think I left any of the positive things of using Facebook out, and I am sure the negatives (for me) will not hinder me yet from continuing to use it. I guess I need to focus on what I actually did while on hiatus!
I have read some great books (mostly audio as I can listen to them just about anywhere on my iPhone) and I focused my energy on reading/listening to stuff that made me think about where my spiritual level was at this point in my life and the direction in which I feel pulled. I attended an all day seminar at church the first weekend of Lent, which gave me great insight into the religious history of the Catholic church and helped me start looking for where it is that I can become "connected" within the parish. I had thought that while I was already volunteering as a 5th grade CCE teacher, that that was "enough", and somehow realized that I had it in my head that "doing" was all that was necessary to feel fulfilled spiritually. In one of the audio tapes that I had been listening to for finding a higher level of spirituality, I learned that we are "human beings" and if we could learn to focus on the "being" part, we would become spiritually fulfilled as we were created. This piece of information, almost made me "quit" being a 5th grade CCE teacher, until I realized that this was not what they meant. What they meant was that what ever we do in life "naturally", is part of the "being" and so a person could "grow" from that in many directions. Plus, I had to ask myself, Did I really enjoy teaching that class? And "Yes" was the answer.
One of the other things I have done while not being engrossed in Facebook, was to start seeing a psychologist. This was brought on by my epiphany that my life in general, was not going in the direction that I wanted and that I have been "stuffing" some emotional issues that would not allow me to be "me", and that I needed some help. Depression has been part of it, and I have also had my regular Dr prescribe some medication to help with some anxiety issues. The conversations with the therapist and the medication, have helped me begin to figure "me" out. It still will probably take a little longer than 40 days for this part, but it has been well worth the time and "investment".
Wow, after reading some of this, one would think that I "dumped" my kids during my quest! Well, that has definitely not been true. During my time away from Facebook, we have been on vacation with the kids, and I have some "quality" one on one time with them as they still need me too! I got a chance to visit with an old friend while on vacation ~ that I have not seen in 3 years! We vowed to each other that we would not let that happen again and have some tentative plans to go camping in the summer! It was this friend that was able to tell me what my 2 Joys that the therapist was trying to get me in touch with. Outdoors and photography. I told her "You mean I had to come all the way to Phoenix to get this lesson?" I was relieved when she told me that. I remember feeling that lightbulb turning on again and we had a good laugh. It was this trip that I promised to eventually let her teach me how to scuba dive. (one day there will be more on this topic!)
Other things that I have been doing, helping out my friends. I have a dear friend that is moving into town, so this last week I have been helping her with her garage sale and even packed up her kitchen for her and helped get stuff put away in her new place. I wish I could have done more for her as I will miss our front porch gatherings and being able to share good neighborly visits, but know that she is not far away. She is the kind of person that gives what she has to everyone she meets. She has been another inspiration to me in my quest for higher spiritual changes, she lives what she says and does so with dignity and grace.
With so many choices for me to learn to just "be", it has inspired me to volunteer on a larger scale outside of my usual self. I have now volunteered for becoming a bereavement minister at our parish (training begins monday night) as well as volunteering at the local hospital (not sure yet where they will put me). These are two areas that have always interested me in volunteering my time in a way that I know I can "give back" from my true self. As well as inspire my kids to follow along in whatever they are supposed to "be" in this world. I am prayng for continued guidance that by doing so, I will find even greater levels in my spiritual growth and inspire others around me to do the same.
As far as Facebook, I will happily log on tomorrow with a renewed sense of energy and enthusiasm. I know that this is just the "beginning" of this spiritual journey, and I have truly enjoyed taking the time off of Facebook to really "take stock" of myself. ( and "No" I am not done yet!)I hope that everyone that participated in this years Lenten sacrifice, has truly found their way on a new path of spiritual enlightenment, or at least has felt its glimmer of hope.
Peace and Blessings to all!
